the irony of ‘B Positive’
In a world that often feels increasingly fragmented, the bonds of family are supposed to be unbreakable. Siblings, in particular, are meant to be our lifelong companions, standing up for us and by us through thick and thin. As I sit down to share my story, the journey my family and I have undertaken over the past few months feels like a rollercoaster of emotions, with peaks of hope and valleys of disappointment. It is a story of love, sacrifice, and the unwavering desire to make a difference in the life of someone dear to me — my brother.
See, my brother Dwayne Sterling affectionately known to family and friends as Ducey was diagnosed with Polycystic kidney disease 16 years ago and is currently at Stage 4 kidney failure. In October 2022 he was placed on the transplant list and has been doing dialysis since February 2023. My brother’s battle with kidney disease brought me face to face with this life-altering decision, and without hesitation, I resolved to offer him one of my kidneys.
My brother has been a loyal friend, advocate and constant. Every so often, he talks about our bond as a brothership — brothers who ultimately became friends. He made me an uncle, often calls to discuss major life decisions and makes me a better son and brother showing up for our mother and family over and over despite his condition. He’s a die hard New Orleans Saints fan, appreciates the talents of King James and will follow our high school alma mater’s sport teams all across the state of Louisiana.
Filled with determination and love, I embarked on the path to becoming a kidney donor for my brother. On December 21, 2022, I walked onto Ochsner Medical Center campus smiling with the hopes of becoming a living donor. Because my brother is O Positive and I am B Positive, I’d have to participate in the pair program. Essentially, I agreed to give my kidney to someone and in return my brother would receive the kidney of someone else who matched his blood type. A living donor is when someone living chooses to donate one of their organs to another person seeking a transplant. The donor is assigned a donor advocate, coordinator, nephrologist, surgeon, social worker, psychiatrist/psychologist, transplant pharmacist and registered dietitian all before a procedure is administered. The extensive medical evaluations, discussions with healthcare professionals, and the emotional rollercoaster that came with the anticipation of the surgery were all part of the process.
However, despite our best efforts and damn near perfect bill of health and the unwavering support from the medical team, the dream of a successful kidney donation was shattered. A complex medical condition surfaced during the evaluations, preventing the transplantation from moving forward. I learned that I carry the gene mutation APOL1 more commonly found in Black Americans and while it does not guarantee I will experience kidney failure, I am unable to make the donation. If you could imagine the disappointment and heartache that followed were indescribable.
As I grapple with the profound disappointment of an unsuccessful attempt to donate a kidney to my brother, I am reminded of the power of community. If you’ve met Ducey for 5 minutes or have known him for five years or have not met him at all, know that he is an extension of me holding community values, friends and family at his core and in his heart.
Our hope is not extinguished; it merely takes on a different form. While the journey to donate a kidney to my brother was not successful, the spirit of giving and the resilience of the human spirit endured. We believe in the power of community, the strength of compassion, and the possibility of creating a network of support that transcends the boundaries of our immediate circle.
In sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness about the challenges faced by those battling kidney disease and the vital role that community support plays in overcoming such hurdles. Together, you can be a source of strength, comfort, and hope for those facing similar battles. Community support can manifest in various forms, whether through financial contributions, spreading awareness about organ donation, or simply offering words of encouragement. Every gesture, no matter how small, contributes to a collective effort to lift the weight of this struggle.
As we navigate this uncharted territory, I extend my heartfelt gratitude to our community for standing by our side. HELP! us transform this setback into an opportunity to inspire change, promote awareness, and, most importantly, demonstrate the boundless capacity of human kindness.
